As many of you know that I am an HIV/AIDS activist and also HIV+ himself. I want people to know that this is a manageable disease but, contracting HIV is not the thing to do. We as individuals have to be careful who we sleep with and engage in risky activities. Even though there are many other STD's out there HIV/AIDS can be a deadly disease if you don't take of yourself. If you didn't know my history. I contracted HIV through unsafe sex which in clinical terms I contracted though MSM (men who sex with other men). I was 19 years old fresh out of high school, had dreams that I wanted to achieved (Which I can still), and wanting to live a healthy life. Have i ever thought contracting this? No. Have I ever thought about the men I slept and possibly having an STD? No. As many we go by the looks and think well he looks healthy, he keeps himself groomed well, got a job, going to school, and got his own place. Do we ever think about asking questions about someone sexual history or about condoms? No, because the fear of rejection. These things we have to be mindful of. Our life is to precious to waste and just let go. Yes there was prevention included in our daily health classes and programs but, no enough. Not to say I blame the teachers or counselor for allowing this to happen, we have to take account of our own actions sometimes. To be Honest I wasnt always safe due to the rejection of others, thinking that he wont talk to me ever again if I even think about using a condom or insisting on using one. I am not perfect, neither is the next person. When I was told that i was HIV+, it didnt hit me right then and there. It took weeks to even realize that I was a sick person who would never find love again, never have children, and wont live to see the age of 85. That was my mindset back then, but now since i have been working in this field I know a lot better now. Taking your antiviral medicine can be a challenge to some, even if you are on one pill like I am. Sometimes when you are out having fun and that certain time of the day comes you dread it because it makes you feel different than others, you can do what you would normally would do on a Friday night because you fear of getting sick and going to the hospital. Getting up in the morning for work and feeling so sick to where you just cant go no where. This again was going through my mind at the early stages of finding out. I had to grow up faster now. I was already mature but, now this was something that made you grow into the person you are today. One thing I can say is that I thank god for keeping me alive, putting certain people in my life, and giving me the mind to keep going. I may not say much whether its by talking or the facial expressions but, I and others go through somethings that we can not control. I smile to mask the pain inside, to hide the fear, and to show others that I am more than a statistic. I didnt mean to go this far in my blog but, someone needed to hear this, you might know someone and you dont even know the inflicting running through their veins. Don't turn your friend, Family, co worker, or someone who has HIV away. Dont be afraid to touch or have feelings for that person. To be honest you just might of did that already with someone who you had sexual intercourse with... So be aware and be careful of yourself and others. Now HIV has a face to it. Do I look like I have it? Just something to think about. Love you all. Any questions feel free to ask me.
