coming out again

CONTINUING FROM MY LAST BLOG….. THE VISITOR THAT I HAVE KNOWN FOR TWO YEARS ACTUALLY HAPPENS TO BE * WIPES THE TEARS OF MY FACE* TO BE HIV…YES I AM LIVING WITH HIV….YOU MIGHT OF KNOW FROM MY PREVIOUS MYSPACE PAGE…I WASN’T GOING TO PUT THIS UP AGAIN BUT, I WANT TO BE HEARD AND NOT LOOKED DOWN ON BECAUSE I AM GAY FOR ONE, BLACK, AND HIV POSITIVE.…MANY HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME AFTER KNOWING MY STATUS IF IT WASN’T FOR MY MOTHER, GOD MOTHERS, GOD SISTER, AND THE LIST GOES ON (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE- THANK YOU SO MUCH.) TRULY AND MOST OF ALL GOD I WOULD HAVE BEEN PERISHED ALONG TIME AGO… SO WHY AM I STILL HERE? I AM HERE FOR A REASON, I AM HERE TO SERVE A PURPOSE AND I AM GOING TO DO IT.NO MATTER WHAT HE OR SHE SAYS I AM GOING TO BE ME. IT’S LIKE COMING OUT FOR THE SECOND TIME. THE FIRST TIME WAS I CAME OUT TO MY ENGLISH 2 CLASS IN THE TENTH GRADE READING A STORY ABOUT A GUY I FELL IN LOVE WITH. NOW TO COME OUT ABOUT MY STATUS REALLY HAS TAKING ME TO ANOTHER LEVEL. I CAME OUT TO MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL ABOUT MY STATUS DURING A PRESENTATION FOR BLACK AIDS AWARENESS DAY IN THE AUDITORIUM. THAT RIGHT THERE REALLY SHOWED HOW BRAVE I WAS BUT, ALSO COMING BACK TO MY COMMUNITY TO HELP THOSE BEFORE THEY WRECK THEMSELVES…SOME PEOPLE MAY MAKE ME FEEL BAD FOR POSTING A BLOG LIKE THIS BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THE HASSLES THE UP’S AND DOWN’S A PERSON LIKE ME HAS TO GO THROUGH. SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE ENDING IT ALL JUST SO THAT I DON’T HAVE TO FACE THE CHALLENGES HERE ON EARTH. I HAVE MY EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER GOING SOMETIMES AND JUST NEED TO BE ALONE AND NOT BE BOTHERED… I KNOW THAT’S NOT A GUY WAY TO HANDLE SOMETHING BUT, IT SURE HELPS ME DEAL WITH SOMETHINGS... WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY IS THAT DON’T LOOK ME DOWN, BECAUSE I AM POSITIVE. I HAVE FOUND THE COURAGE TO COME REALIZATION THAT THIS IS REAL, WHAT I’M GOING TO DO ABOUT IT AND HOW I AM GOING TO STRENGTHENING MYSELF AS WELL AS OTHERS. I AM A TRUE WARRIOR AND WOULD DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO HELP SOMEONE IN NEED. I MAY NOT KNOW EVERY WORD OR WAY OF HELPING IN NEED BUT, EVERY SINGLE THING COUNTS IN MY BOOK... YOU MAY EVEN STOP TALKING TO ME, YOU MAY GO AND TELL OTHERS ABOUT MY STATUS LOL LONG AS YOU ARE HEARING IT FROM ME (THE SOURCE), I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM. I AM NOT LIVING FOR ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR T-I-M-O-T-H-Y AND WHO DOES THAT REPRESENT? ME. I HAVE NO TIME TO FALL DOWN TO THE GROUND A JUST CRY (EVEN THOUGH I HAVE HAD THOSE MOMENTS) FOR ANYONE BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF THE TRUTH. I AM NOT SAYING TO SPILL OUT YOUR BUSINESS NO. I AM SAYING YOU CANT SOMETIMES TOLERATE A PERSON WHO KNOW THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG, FELL IN MANY TRAPS AND REALIZE WHAT HE OR SHE HAS TO DO TO MOVE ON AND LIVE LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS. FOR MONTHS I WAS THE TYPE TO BE AFRAID OF HANGING AROUND FRIENDS BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTIES. YOU CAN BE AROUND SOMEONE WHO IS HIV POSITIVE YOU CAN EVEN LOVE AND BE WITH THAT PERSON WHO IS HIV POSITIVE. LONG AS YOU, YOUR PARTNER, OR FRIEND DO WHAT IS BEST AND THAT MEANS PLAY THINGS IN A SAFE WAY. YOU CAN MANAGE. JUST DON’T FALL FOR ANYTHING.DONT! I AM LIVING PROOF AND AS WELL AS OTHERS THAT LIFE CONTINUES.IT MAY NOT BE THE WAY YOU WANT BUT, IT’S UP TO YOU. THE FAMOUS SAYING ‘’BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE ELSE YOU GOT TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST’’. IF THAT MEANS DISTANCING YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR SURROUNDINGS, DO SO. IT MAY HURT TO DO THAT BECAUSE IN TOUGH SITUATIONS YOU WILL SEE WHO REALLY IS YOU FRIEND IN THE LONG RUN. I HAVE HAD SLEEPLESS NIGHTS AND CRYING NIGHTS BUT, ONE THING FOR SURE I AM STRONGER THAN EVER. ALL THE TIMES ISN'T GREAT BUT, WHEN YOUR ABLE TO WAKE UP AND SEE THE SUNLIGHT, ABLE TO GET OUT OF BED AND STRETCH OUT THERE IS A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE NOT BEING BOTHERED AND LONELY I STILL HAVE TO PRESS ALONG THE FIGHT. ONE THING FOR SURE I CAN SAY IS THAT I FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER TALKING ABOUT NOT JUST ABOUT ME BUT, LIFE ITSELF… I JUST HOPE I HELP SOMEONE BY THEM READING THIS. THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. GOODNIGHT. CHECK OUT MY NEXT BLOG COMING UP...